because it's what we're supposed to do

There's been a cultural aversion I’ve noticed amongst certain sects of the internet towards the world of self improvement. I find it troubling, unsurprisingly. Almost every sort of general advice I’ve been hearing spouted lately just seems backwards. There’s a strong push towards umbrella acceptance, but there’s no one size fits all methodology when it comes to being better. We don’t have to settle for just accepting our shortcomings or things we’d like to change under the guise of acceptance. It's not an issue to realize when something is not serving you and have an urge to change it. It's part of our wiring. We change and we grow to adapt, it’s been this way since the dawn of time. So I hope you don't get caught up with that. I want you to grow. I want you to improve. So I will tell you what I wish someone told me when I was in the shadow realm and depressed out of my mind. For those of us that aren't blessed with extraordinary help from parents or whomever. We're on our own, and these next words especially apply to you.

#1 You are reliant on your input

It is particularly difficult to come to terms with how we ourselves have participated in our own detriment, but it is crucial to be acknowledged if you want true improvement. I remember days and days I would be up 20 hours of the day living in sheer dread. I barely got out of bed or ate.

I was a mere shell of myself. I had given up.

Yes, there were tons of things that knocked me down. I was completely cut off from family, I had gone through one of the most toxic and traumatic relationships of my life, but I too had abandoned myself. I was forsaking myself like I wasn't the only one who could save myself. I didn't have the luxury to weep and rot away. I wish I could just smack myself with cymbals like in a cartoon when I was in that state... seriously. But heed this, your success or failure ( your output) is reliant on your input. If you're in undesirable circumstances you're more likely than not going to have to work even harder than most to reach your desired output. That doesn't mean all hope is lost and start blaming everyone else for your position. It could all be 100% true, but that will not hand you your dreams and desires on a silver platter it just won't. Your savior lies in yourself. Save yourself.

#2 We are not unique in our struggles

We as humans are united by our struggles. We all struggle, of course to varying degrees. So the wort possible thing you could do when you're struggling is to isolate yourself from the world and act like your pain is somehow new to the world beyond understanding. Not everyone will understand of course, but someone will. Find someone who is or has been in a similar situation as you and talk to them. If you can't find people in your circles that are relatable find someone online. You are not alone. Connection with others is healing and can help you get on the right track. So do it, go connect.

#3 Release Negativity tied to your Self Image

This next thing is what I believe a lot of people fail to realize or disregard. If you want to grow the person you are today is the person who will get you there. Why hate the vessel to your destination. Speak positively of yourself and be empowered to change not defeated. Don't get caught up in self deprecation and downing yourself at every opportunity. It solidifies negative beliefs that keep you stuck choosing negative choices.

With all that being said. I love you and I know you can do it. I'm sure of it because I could. It's never over when you have breathe in your lungs. Good Luck.